How many times had she rescued it? She'd lost
count. It seemed that every year since she'd gotten it, it had dwindled
down to nothing and she'd had to give it a serious haircut to get it
going again. It would, almost overnight, grow lush and full only to
start dwindling and drooping again with no warning. How often she had
looked at it, remembering, or drawing comfort from its upright eager
vines that never seemed to quit. Poor Charlie, she thought. How many
more times can I hack away at you like this and expect you to live?
The world has changed a lot. Most people
don't know the names of all the cars on the market. Two cars in a family
is common. People are busy and don't want to take the time to shop for
that perfect car. Families with kids want SUV's. Everyone wants energy
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She remembered the day her son Teddie had
brought Charlie home. They'd just moved into an apartment after selling
the house he'd been born in. She'd done it for the worst reason of all,
to try to hang on to a new man she'd just met and with whom her son had,
at best, a nervous relationship. It seemed as though she just couldn't
stop making mistakes, and now this. She remembered her last days in the
house, how she'd walked out and never looked back and how she hadn't
been able to drive by it for the longest time, long after the man had
gone, long after Charlie had died and been reborn at least a dozen more
times.
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Noticing at first
that I was completely exhausted from staying in the protective fight or
flight mode, I began to question whether or not I could handle this
responsibility. I went through a journey of emotions from anger to
shame. How could I be a babysitter when I had a business to run and a
life of my own? What did I do to deserve this punishment? These were
thoughts that took residence in my mind during the first months. The
first voice I heard when I came out of surgery was Harrison's. Harrison
called me on the phone and said, "Hey, are you okay?" I said,
"Yeah, I'm good." He said, "Well, then you need to get back to work." I
said, "Are you serious?" He said, "That's the way this cookie crumbles."
So I went back to work. The show doesn't stop for anybody.
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