Getting divorced but staying
together is getting more and more popular these days. I know. I couldn't
figure out why anyone would do that either. That was until I found
myself in that very situation with my wife.
The place was peopled by extras from "Hells
Angels on Wheels" and every bad prison movie ever made. This woman kept
bumping into me. She was medium height, slender, had long brown hair and
three teeth. Her face looked a little like it had caught fire and some
caring person had tried to put it out with an ax. Every time we collided
I apologized nervously and she walked away. From behind she could have
been Miss America. I swear.
She remembered the day her son Teddie had
brought Charlie home. They'd just moved into an apartment after selling
the house he'd been born in. She'd done it for the worst reason of all,
to try to hang on to a new man she'd just met and with whom her son had,
at best, a nervous relationship. It seemed as though she just couldn't
stop making mistakes, and now this. She remembered her last days in the
house, how she'd walked out and never looked back and how she hadn't
been able to drive by it for the longest time, long after the man had
gone, long after Charlie had died and been reborn at least a dozen more
times.
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Noticing at first
that I was completely exhausted from staying in the protective fight or
flight mode, I began to question whether or not I could handle this
responsibility. I went through a journey of emotions from anger to
shame. How could I be a babysitter when I had a business to run and a
life of my own? What did I do to deserve this punishment? These were
thoughts that took residence in my mind during the first months. Since
Jay Leno took over the hosting duties at "The Tonight Show", he has
earned another nickname-"The King of Late Night." So, how much money
does the king earn? Another little known fact about Jay Leno is that his
annual salary is reported to be a cool $17,000,000, according to
Forbes.
If your firm were a car what would it be? Strong and tough
like a
buy truck engines online? Sleek and
fast like a Ferrari? Sophisticated and state-of-the-art like a Mercedes
S-Class? How about an ice cream flavor? A beverage? A movie genre? All
of these exercises not only make for a lively discussion, but work to
help define your firm personality. Once that emerges, look for ways to
incorporate it in your firm's daily business- from answering the phones
to your letterhead. That's something that a lot of
married couples don't think about. Yes. You and the person you married
are legally bound to one another. Your spouse (unless you legally put
someone else in charge) will be the one they ask permission from if they
ever have to pull the plug on you. Your spouse will get your social
security money in the event of your passing. It didn't bother me that my
wife had all these legal rights as my wife but it bothered her. She
doesn't want me or any one else having legal powers over her. It all came back to her then, how he'd lain sobbing in his room
across from hers while the man raged in the livingroom, how she'd
slipped into his twin bed with him and wrapped her arms around him until
he was finally asleep, how she'd read chapters of "Charlotte's Web" to
him each night, how he'd raced on his bike through the dark streets the
night they'd finally made their escape. She'd let him in on it early on,
told him all about her plan to find a new place where it would be just
the two of them and how he wouldn't ever again have to lie awake at
night afraid of what was going on in the livingroom or of what he'd see
in the morning as he headed out for school. He'd told no one. It was
their secret. Remember: be
prepared, have an agenda and keep focused on the discussion at hand.
Involve everyone from partners to associates to staff and keep an open
mind to marketing ideas, plans and needs. But most of all... make it a
true priority to institute those strategies when the retreat
ends.